I was speaking on the phone with my friend several months ago. She’s super-smart, super-capable, and has been super-STUCK for a long time. I can see several different possibilities for her and was offering a variety of them off the top of my head. She met every single suggestion with a “Yeah, but…” or some response that was a sibling or first cousin of that one. Pretty soon she said “I do see what’s happening here…every time you suggest an idea, I tell you some reason why I can’t do it” (I told you she was smart). In spite of that moment of awareness, though, she chose to hold onto those limitations that she’d argued for during our conversation. She’s still stuck all these months later.
“Yeah, but…” How may times have you either thought those words to yourself or said them out loud to someone else when faced with a list of possibilities for how you might be able to change or improve a situation that you’re currently unhappy with? If you keep reciting a laundry list of what’s happened in the past or of all the reasons why you “can’t” do something, then you are arguing for your limitation.
On some level, we are all invested in being “right,” even though that would actually end up sabotaging us in some way. For example, wanting to be “right” in some kind of a relationship problem with your spouse can get in the way of being able to fix that problem. Being “right” about what we think our limitations are can sabotage our chances to achieve a goal that we say we want like getting un-stuck or improving our lives. So, let me ask you: Would you rather be RIGHT about your limitations, or would you rather wipe them out and make changes that improve your quality of life and increase your joy?
You actually do have a choice.
Your view of the world is very different if you choose one over the other. Whether you choose an abundance-mindset or a limitation-mindset can have real consequences for your life. It can affect the opportunities you see, your expectations, and ultimately the results you get in life.
A limitation-mindset can have these effects on your life:
- You believe that life is difficult
- You see success as being harder than it really is
- You expect the worst and might convince yourself that it’s pointless to even try
- You struggle to find opportunities (this is true even if they’re right in front of your face)
- Your overall viewpoint of your life is more negative
- You get stuck in fear and pessimism
- You believe you have to fight the world to get what you want and need
- You live small and settle
An abundance-mindset can have these effects on your life:
- You believe in possibilities
- You believe there are plenty of opportunities in general
- You expect to find opportunities, so opportunities are easier to see
- You’re willing to try and expect that things will eventually go your way
- Your overall viewpoint of your life is more positive
- You take more risks instead of always playing it small or “safe”
- You live larger
- You enjoy life more
You’ll often find what you expect to find in life, so why not adopt a mindset that will allow you more positive expectations? Why not argue for abundance rather than limitation?
Living with MS, even though we may have some very real physical limitations at the moment, there are other limitations that we’ve created in our minds. And, if we’re honest about it, some of the limitations that we “know” to be true are not based on factual evidence and are not things that we’ve tested or challenged significantly.
Possibility and opportunity will flow into your life if you allow it. Try arguing for abundance for a few months and note what changes.
Do you think you argue more for abundance or more for your limitation? If limitation, how many months (Years?) are you willing to let pass you by while you continue to argue for your limitation? If a friend were in your current situation and asked for your help, would you argue for abundance for them or for their limitation?
